"Blondes"
  • A blonde a brunette and a redhead are in the 5th grade. Which one has the bigger tits? The blonde of course 'cause she's 18!

  • 2 blondes are walking down the street, and find a compact mirror. The first one opens it up and exclaims:"Hey, I know her!" the other one takes it from her, looks and replies:"Of course you dummy it's me!"

  • How do you recognize a blonde's computer at work? It's the one with white-out on the screen!!!

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    "Your Momma's So-o-o-o Fat...!"
  • I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

  • When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.

  • They had to grease a door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side to get her through.

  • When she dances she makes the band skip.

  • Instead of Levi's 501 jeans she wears Levi's 1002's.

  • When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live

  • When I yell "Hey, Kool-Aid!" she comes crashing through the wall.

  • She puts mayonaise on aspirin.

  • Her ass has its own congressman.

  • Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

  • When God said "Let there be light" he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

  • When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw HER peanuts.

  • Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

  • Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
  • She can't even jump to a conclusion.

  • Her nickname is "DAMN!"

  • The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

  • When she wears high-heels she strikes oil.

  • The shadow of her ass weighs 100 pounds.

  • When I climb on top of her my ears pop.

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